Loneliness and Affliction

There are many days where I feel loneliness and affliction creeping into my heart and through my very bones. What I have come to realise is that God is everywhere, and there are moments when He makes His presence known. But what about the times that He seems nowhere to be found? That's Him calling for you to go to Him for comfort, for company, for help. His silence is Him calling for you to go to Him. But even though He might be silent, He is always in control.

I'll give you an example from my own experience. Eleventh grade, I was saved and completely on fire for the Lord. I had my devotions, I spent time being thankful and praising God for all the good things. Then I started compromising on somethings. I became less thankful, praising became a Sunday thing only, and my devotions began to collect dust just like my relationship with God had. Instead of feeling God around me and knowing that I was never alone, I became lonely, depressed and bitter. Everything started to fall apart. Where was God? Why couldn't I feel His presence? It was because I no longer saw a relevent need for Him in my life. He never left me, He never turned His back on me, and He never gave up on me. No, He took away all the things that were of no use to me, and filled me with everything that I truly needed. He made Himself relevent and necessary. Through all the good stuff I couldn't see, feel, or hear God. The only way He was going to get my attention was by making things harder for me. Anybody can say 'thank you for a beautiful day', but how many can say 'thank you, Holy Heavenly Father for this rainy day'?

I have been going through this for 3 years now, and only now can I say that I am truly greatful for this trial! I have been so lonely and bitter and sad and angry, and it's all been because I had taken my eyes off the One and Only who delights in me.

I am a mess of brokenness, and I had been filthy, but God isn't. He is whole, clean, wonderful, just, and mighty. He isn't afraid to get dirty. He has cleansed me, mended my brokenness, and has and will always love me.

 

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Psalm 25:16,17